I’m giving my troubles to a MONKEY on a ROCK, or Farewell Dave

Ok Paul, open the thing.

Here it is, folks. Tonight’s top ten list:

The Top Ten Ways I’ll Get Over the Loss of the Late Show with David Letterman Continue reading

I’m all about that base

Hi everybody! It’s your friendly neighbourhood toothless wonder here! I last left you months ago with the infamous* tooth knock out story. I’m now weeks into recovery from gum surgery, proudly sporting a temporary retainer with a fake tooth hanging off it until my gums heal and I can get a bridge put in permanently.

*According to me.

You know the expression #firstworldproblems? Well I’ve got #missingtoothproblems. Continue reading

No cabbage soup for you!

Alright, so I recognize my last few posts have been a bit lackluster (really, a bit on elevators?). I’m sorry! If you can believe it, weird things just haven’t been happening to me lately! Maybe it’s possible I’ve paid my dues and the universe has moved on…

Ya, ya, I won’t bet on it, but before I go on a bit of a posting break, I’ve decided to dig back into the ol’ archives of my life and leave you with a poop story.

Right about now, my mother is throwing her hands in the air and giving up hope of grandchildren. Continue reading

Elevators really push my buttons

Yup. Went there.

Ok, so the elevator is inherently awkward. Confined space. Strangers. Smells. Standing. Germs on the buttons. Mirrors, sometimes. Security camera, sometimes. You automatically submit yourself to the fact that if it gets stuck, you will have to help deliver a baby. It’s all bad. Continue reading