I frequently eat a salad for lunch at work. Sometimes I forget to bring my salad dressing, but I can usually find back-up in the staff fridge. On this particular day, I forgot salad dressing, and there was no back-up to be found. So I walked to the campus grocery store to see if I could buy some.
They had a weak selection, but I picked one and went back to my desk. The dressing was gross, but it’s food, and at this point I was STARVING, so I stomached it anyway. At the end of my feast, I looked down and realized I had dripped a big oily splotch onto the crotch of my brand new light beige pants. I walked around for the rest of the day looking like I had peed myself (which is bad enough), but also, my pee looked really unhealthy. A brownish ring surrounded the stain courtesy of the balsamic vinegar. And this was after going at it vigorously at my desk with a Tide-to-Go pen (I’m now hoping people who passed by my office at that moment didn’t get the wrong idea…).
Lesson learned: Do not go against the gods who clearly didn’t want you to eat salad that day. Or you will get salad crotch. Mmmmm…