I’ve Been Nominated! Though I’m pretty sure it’s a chain letter…

It’s been one and a half months since I birthed my blog baby and I’ve learned that this blogosphere thing is quite the intricate web. I thought I’d just be posting some stories and doo dads here and there and people I know, like my parents, would just read or not read and that would be that. Turns out, it’s much more interactive than I had ever anticipated. Here’s how it works: When fellow bloggers comment on and follow my blog, I get to discover their blogs and when I comment and follow their blogs, new people who also follow and comment on their blogs discover me and then comment on and follow my blog. You follow? So being interactive = more hits = an all consuming obsession with tracking my readers/followers/commenters (that’s right, I know who you are…well, I know what country you come from) and I feel drunk with power.

Through this enriching and, c’mon, let’s admit it, self-promoting process, Chris Biscuits, author of Anxiety and Biscuits (check it out!), somehow stumbled across my blog. I believe he is single-handedly responsible for my relatively large proportion of UK readership, because I don’t think I know any Brits–I never forget a funny accent. He graciously nominated me for the apparently very distinguished WordPress “Lovely Blog Award.”

Before I unleash my neuroses and cynicism regarding said award, let me first give major thanks and a shout out to Mr. Biscuits. If you like what I’m doing here, I highly recommend you check out his blog. He’s like me, but since he’s British, his stuff is waaaaaaay funnier. This guy comes from the same place as Austin Powers, so…..duh!

Again, thank you thank you thank you for thinking of me. I’m extremely humbled and grateful for the nomination. Please remember these sentiments and let them over arch the rest of this post…

So, here are the official duties of a person nominated for this award:

Thank the person/people who nominated you and link back to them in your post.
Share seven possibly unknown things about yourself.
Nominate fifteen or so bloggers you admire.
Contact the chosen bloggers to let them know and link back to them.

If this doesn’t scream 1998 email chain letter, I don’t know what does. All it’s missing is the threat of death or singledom (huh!) if you don’t pass it along.

I get it though. It’s a great way to validate each other’s blogs, and to introduce the bloggers you deem worthy to a wider audience.

So I did the first part. And quite happily because Mr. Biscuits (his last name is Biscuits, can he be any more British?!) has an awesome blog and has very attentive and courteous blog manners (my motivation behind a topic I will address in my next post “Some verysinglehousekeeping” as I learn the ropes of this bleast [blog beast. Meh]–stay tuned! Or don’t).

The second part I have trouble committing to because I don’t want to give away my upcoming “material” (I call it that as if I’ve got something here). Whatever I’ve got, I fear there isn’t much, so I’ve gotta scrimp when I can. I’ve decided instead of digging into the deep dark recesses of my twisted secret life for the sake of this chain letter, cough, award nomination, I will technically fulfill this second duty in a less evocative way.

Here are seven details from my day yesterday, Sunday, July 15, 2012. These things are “unknown” about me because I didn’t see or speak to anyone I know that day (shocking…):

1. I had blueberry yogurt for breakfast. I couldn’t have Multigrain Cheerios like I wanted because I had to throw out my milk the night before when I discovered it had expired days ago. Imagine my disappointment when I poured the Cheerios into a bowl, opened my fridge, and only then remembered the milk dump of the previous evening. The worst!

2. I didn’t shower.

3. I went shopping and bought a pair of heels (oh la la!). One of the shoes was the floor model, so it feels looser than the other one. I’d rather not have lopsided stretch, so I also arranged to have a brand new pair of the same shoes shipped to me from the warehouse in 2-5 business days. I need them for a wedding in 5 days (and we all know my luck with the postal service), so I will make do with the uneven pair of shoes I’m currently holding hostage if need be.

4. I got stuck in a really long line in the grocery store. I leaned on my cart like I was dying the whole time.

5. It started raining while I was still out and I was wearing flip-flops. Ew.

6. I watched the first three episodes of Game of Thrones. I found myself strangely attracted to The Imp.

7. I had popcorn supper.

The third part is what stressed me out the most when I first got the chain letter, cough, was first nominated for this award. I don’t have fifteen favourite blogs yet! I’m fresh on the scene, yo!

Instead, here are the WordPress blogs I am currently following (plus Biscuits). I sincerely believe they are lovely blogs and am happy to pass the chain letter, cough, bestow the honour onto them. You’re welcome.

So congratulations to…

Dysfunctional Literacy – This guy is super smart and so is his blog.

Sweet Tooth by Zyna – Like me, she is new to the blogosphere. Zyna is an old friend who makes desserts that look scrumptious! Since she’s in Sweden, I don’t have the opportunity to taste her creations, so for all I know they’re crap (just kidding, Zyna!), but the pictures look amazing.

PCC Advantage – One of my first “I don’t know this person”‘s to comment on my posts. So I checked out her blog and it truly is lovely (hence the “Lovely Blog” nomination!)

Whitney Slightham – I’m pretty sure Whitney first followed my blog because I’m kind of her boss (I know! Can you believe I have a job where other people have to do what I say? It’s wacko!) and she felt like her job was on the line if she didn’t…And to be clear, I’m not saying that…but I’m also not not saying that…Just kidding…or am I? I’m really professional. Her blog is already super profesh and she’s just getting started in the PR biz. Girl’s going places! (and Whitney, if you happen to see a post of mine get published during work hours [which means you’re also slacking], look the other way…or else…)

pause/delete/home – To be honest, I just became aware of this dude a couple of days ago when he magically stumbled upon my blog and made some funny comments. I haven’t had the pleasure of reading through too much of his stuff yet because, as you know, I’m just sooooooo busy and important. He has 851 followers so he’s gotta be legit. Or, he traps these followers by commenting on and following a bazillion different blogs, thus compelling them to follow him out of courtesy…(Hehe, just kidding…or am I?) No, seriously, I’ve skimmed and it’s hilarious. I look forward to reading.

Whew, ok, now I’m on the last step. I already linked to each of the blogs above but I’m skipping the part where I’m supposed to contact the bloggers to tell them this. If they are reading my blog then they will see it (see how that works, you lucky nominees?!). I don’t know what I’d say if I contacted them–“I got this chain letter, cough, award nomination and am passing it on to you because I think your blog is really great and you’re really great and I’m sorry if you’ve already gotten this and find it a nuisance or if it’s going to stress you out like it did me (but again, Biscuits, with overarching gratefulness) and anyway, I just wanted to let you know and I feel really awkward and am chewing my hair right now.”

I’m confused by the fact that we are “nominating” each other. Is there ever a winner? Who’s tracking all of this? It’s bonkers! Also, I was nominated specifically for a “Lovely Blog Award.” Are there other awards floating around out there too? Like a “Most Likely to Regret Starting a Blog Because it Sucks and You’ve Lost All Credibility Award” or the “Bloggiest Blog Award”? WordPress aficionados, I summon you to explain this to me.

Thanks for reading.

Oh, and if you don’t “Like” this post, then you will never find love and you will have seven years of bad luck and you will die!!!

theVERYsinglegirl

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29 comments

  1. Don't Quote Lily

    Enjoyed this chain letter, cough, post… I’m pretty new too and had no idea how interactive this whole thing could be. It’s awesome! Congrats on being nominated. 😀

  2. sapha12

    OHMYGOODNESSIGOTAPRIZEYAYHOLYCRAPILOVEPRIZES!!:D:DD:D:D:D:D:DD:D:D:D::DDD:D:D:D:D:D

    …#derpferme

    This is the second one I’ve gotten IN THREE DAYS. The other being from the wonderful Jane at Wonderwimp. Talk about peer pressure to finally get that sucker of mine written. : |. It’s like Holy-Crap’sville with a bubble gun (like right hurr: http://i.qkme.me/3owkrt.jpg ;-O.). I also need to defend Canada like the wonderful Chris Biscuits over at Anxiety & Biscuits defended his homeland of England. Because I said I would and he wants me to.

    So I need three lists of seven.

    ALL OF THE TWENTY-ONE THINGS. : OOOOOOOO

    I appreciate that you appreciate my stylings :). It’s quite fancy to be appreciated. Hence the appreciation for the appreciation. BEST VICIOUS CYCLE EVER! :D.

    And the follower count? Haha…it’s actually kinda funny….

      • theverysinglegirl

        I believe a stipulation of the chain letter, cough, award is that if the nominator fails to discover a later deemed worthy nominee prior to his/her nominations, the nominator will be punished with 20 years of bad odour. A shame during your prime…sorry about your luck!

        • Chris Biscuits

          Oh, I’ve already been killed in my sleep by an old hag countless times for not passing on a chain letter. Perhaps, as you say, we can blame this blasé attitude to correspondence for our love lives, but that is exactly the kind of thing fundamentally undatable people would do, so let’s not do that.

      • sapha12

        Let me let you in on a little secret. *shhhhhh*

        SPOILER ALERT.

        When I connected my Facebook account and Twitter accounts so they auto-post whenever new ones go live, WordPress combined the number of my Facebook friends and the number of my Twitter followers to my number of blog subscribers. And now you know. 🙂

        Science rules. Inertia is a property of matter. Bill, Bill, Bill, BillBill…*shifty eyes*

        • theverysinglegirl

          *GASPS!!!* My god, it’s brilliant. Excellent. *strums fingers like Mr. Burns….* Now that you’ve entrusted me with your dirty little secret I might just need to do the same….it’s an ego thing…..851 sounds more legit than 25. Muahahahhahahaha. Blogging is evil….

          • theverysinglegirl

            FYI I decided to connect to theverysinglegirl Facebook page, instead of my personal account, so the number only bumped up to 136. But I’m comfortable with this because it reflects “true” followers. I guess I’m not pure evil like some…..hehe

            I needed you to know this in case you checked and went, “Oh, she did what I said but she only has 100 Facebook friends. How sad.”

          • sapha12

            Oh, don’t even worry. When I get a proper page set up, I’ll likely be doing the same thing.

            And funny you mention 25.

            And if I DID happen to become some sort of evil evilness and such (which I’m *not*. For the record. Just talking hypothetically here.), I’d prefer to be more Magneto than The Joker. That way, I actually have scruples and eventually come around to playing ball for the good guys. 😛

  3. Chris Biscuits

    Thank you for your kind words! It is so lovely to have a [devoted fan? blog friend? web chum? As you say, it’s a tricky bleats.] Whilst I do make the effort to be mildly amusing, I am unfortunately not a particularly good example of the typical Brit. Yesterday I had an eighteen minute conversation about tea towels. Actually, that’s probably a very British thing, now I’ve come to think about it…

    I’d like to further commend you for a) taking these award things with a pinch of salt, and b) referring to ‘material’. I’ve been saving back a glut of being-single-tragicomedy myself for a big series. Have you considered stand-up comedy? I do enjoy reading your blog – as a male-bloke-man, it is quite difficult to persuade ladies that they can let their guards down around us and be themselves and actually have faults. If only more girls went to murder mystery parties with painted-on chest hair…

    • theverysinglegirl

      Hahahaha thanks! But I’m afraid my years of stand-up are behind me. In elementary school when we had to do speeches in front of the class, instead of tackling serious subjects like, “My dog Rex,” I used to do a set that walked my audience through fictional hilarious scenarios that could arise when babysitting, at sleepovers, etc. I remember one year I was selected to compete with other students in front of the whole school and was a front-runner but lost to a kid who did a tear jerker about his friend who died. Who can compete with that?!

      Do you do stand-up? I feel as though my “material” (I hate the fact that I’m talking as if I think I’m funny) is better suited to print. Plus, if I got heckled, I’d cry. “What? You mean you don’t like me? How is that even possible?” My ego and sensitivity couldn’t handle insta-criticism.

      Re: “It is so lovely to have a…” All three!

      • Chris Biscuits

        Oh God no, like you, I couldn’t take the rejection. I know how I’d do it but I don’t need that kind of thrill yet. There’s an enormous stand-up boom in the UK at the minute, and I have the appearance of exactly the kind of comic I wouldn’t want to be (young, fresh faced and supremely arrogant). I’d be a bit more alternative, have an insecure, non-exuberant character and hope to draw the audience in. I’d also use a notebook full of lists as a prop, to add to it, and to build funny lists into the set.

        So yeah, no I don’t want to do stand up. In fact I’ve never even thought about it.

        You ought to blog about that guy stealing your thunder, in a deliberately distasteful way 😉

        • theverysinglegirl

          Haha I just might! When I think back, I remember that even 10-year-old me knew it was a cheap move pulling the sympathy card. A few weeks ago I was searching boxes of my old things for copies of those elementary school speeches to no avail, but I did find the Tiger Max thong, and the rest is history.

          I get it. Build your following via hilarious blog so when you step out to do stand-up it’s into a cushiony cocoon of fans/admirers/stalkers who would support and encourage you. And perhaps with age you think you wouldn’t feel so vulnerable and feel like on top of your material, the audience is also judging your clothes, hair, weight, stance, Drew Barrymore lisp….

          But yeah, I’ve never even thought about it either.

          • Chris Biscuits

            Or you could just do a big stream of jokes about how aware you are of your faults, and thus deprive hecklers of their fun. Perhaps title the show ‘Therapy’ or something. But these are just ideas…

            Is this the second time you’ve compared yourself to Drew Barrymore? Are you actually Drew Barrymore? I’d like to say I love your movies, Drew, but that would be a lie. You’re pretty though.

          • theverysinglegirl

            Haha When I make the reference about myself it’s more to describe the low level of lispness. I obviously don’t need people thinking I have a speech impediment like Sylvester of Slyvester and Tweety.

          • Chris Biscuits

            Suffering succotash! I thought for a minute you were going to reference the speech impediments of Sylvester Stallone, of which there is only one, which is an inability to close his mouth whilst talking.

          • sapha12

            *Or Sylvester Stallone.

            I’ve never met you, nor found videos of you on the Internet, but I’m pretty sure your voice doesn’t sound like someone who probably one a gold medal at the Brolympics in 1972.

            Just sayin’. 😉

          • sapha12

            : O! That is a slanderous statement I refuse to confirm or deny!

            (But, for the record, between blog friends, I have not. So they’re safe. Haha.)

  4. Pingback: My boss thinks my blog is “Lovely” | Whitney Slightham | Healthy Living, Business, & Public Relations
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