It’s been one and a half months since I birthed my blog baby and I’ve learned that this blogosphere thing is quite the intricate web. I thought I’d just be posting some stories and doo dads here and there and people I know, like my parents, would just read or not read and that would be that. Turns out, it’s much more interactive than I had ever anticipated. Here’s how it works: When fellow bloggers comment on and follow my blog, I get to discover their blogs and when I comment and follow their blogs, new people who also follow and comment on their blogs discover me and then comment on and follow my blog. You follow? So being interactive = more hits = an all consuming obsession with tracking my readers/followers/commenters (that’s right, I know who you are…well, I know what country you come from) and I feel drunk with power.
Through this enriching and, c’mon, let’s admit it, self-promoting process, Chris Biscuits, author of Anxiety and Biscuits (check it out!), somehow stumbled across my blog. I believe he is single-handedly responsible for my relatively large proportion of UK readership, because I don’t think I know any Brits–I never forget a funny accent. He graciously nominated me for the apparently very distinguished WordPress “Lovely Blog Award.”
Before I unleash my neuroses and cynicism regarding said award, let me first give major thanks and a shout out to Mr. Biscuits. If you like what I’m doing here, I highly recommend you check out his blog. He’s like me, but since he’s British, his stuff is waaaaaaay funnier. This guy comes from the same place as Austin Powers, so…..duh!
Again, thank you thank you thank you for thinking of me. I’m extremely humbled and grateful for the nomination. Please remember these sentiments and let them over arch the rest of this post…
So, here are the official duties of a person nominated for this award:
Thank the person/people who nominated you and link back to them in your post.
Share seven possibly unknown things about yourself.
Nominate fifteen or so bloggers you admire.
Contact the chosen bloggers to let them know and link back to them.
If this doesn’t scream 1998 email chain letter, I don’t know what does. All it’s missing is the threat of death or singledom (huh!) if you don’t pass it along.
I get it though. It’s a great way to validate each other’s blogs, and to introduce the bloggers you deem worthy to a wider audience.
So I did the first part. And quite happily because Mr. Biscuits (his last name is Biscuits, can he be any more British?!) has an awesome blog and has very attentive and courteous blog manners (my motivation behind a topic I will address in my next post “Some verysinglehousekeeping” as I learn the ropes of this bleast [blog beast. Meh]–stay tuned! Or don’t).
The second part I have trouble committing to because I don’t want to give away my upcoming “material” (I call it that as if I’ve got something here). Whatever I’ve got, I fear there isn’t much, so I’ve gotta scrimp when I can. I’ve decided instead of digging into the deep dark recesses of my twisted secret life for the sake of this chain letter, cough, award nomination, I will technically fulfill this second duty in a less evocative way.
Here are seven details from my day yesterday, Sunday, July 15, 2012. These things are “unknown” about me because I didn’t see or speak to anyone I know that day (shocking…):
1. I had blueberry yogurt for breakfast. I couldn’t have Multigrain Cheerios like I wanted because I had to throw out my milk the night before when I discovered it had expired days ago. Imagine my disappointment when I poured the Cheerios into a bowl, opened my fridge, and only then remembered the milk dump of the previous evening. The worst!
2. I didn’t shower.
3. I went shopping and bought a pair of heels (oh la la!). One of the shoes was the floor model, so it feels looser than the other one. I’d rather not have lopsided stretch, so I also arranged to have a brand new pair of the same shoes shipped to me from the warehouse in 2-5 business days. I need them for a wedding in 5 days (and we all know my luck with the postal service), so I will make do with the uneven pair of shoes I’m currently holding hostage if need be.
4. I got stuck in a really long line in the grocery store. I leaned on my cart like I was dying the whole time.
5. It started raining while I was still out and I was wearing flip-flops. Ew.
6. I watched the first three episodes of Game of Thrones. I found myself strangely attracted to The Imp.
7. I had popcorn supper.
The third part is what stressed me out the most when I first got the chain letter, cough, was first nominated for this award. I don’t have fifteen favourite blogs yet! I’m fresh on the scene, yo!
Instead, here are the WordPress blogs I am currently following (plus Biscuits). I sincerely believe they are lovely blogs and am happy to pass the chain letter, cough, bestow the honour onto them. You’re welcome.
So congratulations to…
Dysfunctional Literacy – This guy is super smart and so is his blog.
Sweet Tooth by Zyna – Like me, she is new to the blogosphere. Zyna is an old friend who makes desserts that look scrumptious! Since she’s in Sweden, I don’t have the opportunity to taste her creations, so for all I know they’re crap (just kidding, Zyna!), but the pictures look amazing.
PCC Advantage – One of my first “I don’t know this person”‘s to comment on my posts. So I checked out her blog and it truly is lovely (hence the “Lovely Blog” nomination!)
Whitney Slightham – I’m pretty sure Whitney first followed my blog because I’m kind of her boss (I know! Can you believe I have a job where other people have to do what I say? It’s wacko!) and she felt like her job was on the line if she didn’t…And to be clear, I’m not saying that…but I’m also not not saying that…Just kidding…or am I? I’m really professional. Her blog is already super profesh and she’s just getting started in the PR biz. Girl’s going places! (and Whitney, if you happen to see a post of mine get published during work hours [which means you’re also slacking], look the other way…or else…)
pause/delete/home – To be honest, I just became aware of this dude a couple of days ago when he magically stumbled upon my blog and made some funny comments. I haven’t had the pleasure of reading through too much of his stuff yet because, as you know, I’m just sooooooo busy and important. He has 851 followers so he’s gotta be legit. Or, he traps these followers by commenting on and following a bazillion different blogs, thus compelling them to follow him out of courtesy…(Hehe, just kidding…or am I?) No, seriously, I’ve skimmed and it’s hilarious. I look forward to reading.
Whew, ok, now I’m on the last step. I already linked to each of the blogs above but I’m skipping the part where I’m supposed to contact the bloggers to tell them this. If they are reading my blog then they will see it (see how that works, you lucky nominees?!). I don’t know what I’d say if I contacted them–“I got this chain letter, cough, award nomination and am passing it on to you because I think your blog is really great and you’re really great and I’m sorry if you’ve already gotten this and find it a nuisance or if it’s going to stress you out like it did me (but again, Biscuits, with overarching gratefulness) and anyway, I just wanted to let you know and I feel really awkward and am chewing my hair right now.”
I’m confused by the fact that we are “nominating” each other. Is there ever a winner? Who’s tracking all of this? It’s bonkers! Also, I was nominated specifically for a “Lovely Blog Award.” Are there other awards floating around out there too? Like a “Most Likely to Regret Starting a Blog Because it Sucks and You’ve Lost All Credibility Award” or the “Bloggiest Blog Award”? WordPress aficionados, I summon you to explain this to me.
Thanks for reading.
Oh, and if you don’t “Like” this post, then you will never find love and you will have seven years of bad luck and you will die!!!