theVERYsingle search terms #3: The Final Chapter (because you people ruin everything)

This will be my final forray into publishing and ridiculing the search terms that lead unsuspecting answer seekers to the life-changing surprise that is my blog. I am sad to report that the purity of this exercise has been compromised by people who think they are cleverer and funnier than me. It is apparent that some clowns have figured out how to tamper with an otherwise honest system in three different ways:

#1: Typing ludicrous things into the search engine, along with my name, so that when they click my site, they get their 15 minutes of fame when they see their search term included in the list. (FYI, recently surpassed 10,000 hits. I’m clearly a pretty big deal. Thank you, thank you. The crowd goes wild. And, almost 100 “Likes” on my Facebook page. Almost 100. 100 would be such a nice, round number. Just sayin…) Then, they presume I’d make some wildly hilarious comment on their search term, and they’d get the smug satisfaction of knowing that they tricked me. Well, my friends (and actually, they are my friends), jokes on you because I’m smarter than that (and, you told me your plan in detail. That helped). My blog is founded on the premise of brutal honestly (my aunt recently said to me after complimenting my blog, “So, it’s not all true, right?” Oooooooooh, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: You just can’t make this stuff up…) so I feel it is a disservice to go on with this stream of posts knowing that something fishy is going on…

#2: Typing a certain person’s name into a search engine and clicking through to my site so their name is included in the search terms. Now, I might just be paranoid about this one; I suppose the same person could just be super popular and searched often and the searchers happen to come across my site and click through each time (since their name is in the comments somewhere)…But, knowing who the person is, and who this person’s friends are, I have a sneaking suspicion that there is foul play involved. Also, I’ve removed the name from the search terms for the sake of their privacy incase they are unaware of these shenanigans. But well done if there is a joker behind this.

#3: Copying and pasting direct quotes. Ok, I only came across one…And I SUPPOSE it could be a coincidence. People string together the same sentences all the time. But, considering the subject matter and that I don’t believe there is anyone else in the world who thinks like I do, I again think there is some mischief behind it.

So here you have it, the final theVERYsingle search terms. Soak it up people.

If there is a public outcry, perhaps I’ll come out with a top ten list every-so-often. But then, how can I know that the idiotic search terms I select to share and make fun of aren’t imposters? I can’t trust anyone! Not even the creepy internet peepers! *sigh* It was fun while it lasted.

Oh! How could I almost forget? While I have you in a non-story telling capacity, I have some amazing news! I’ve been nominated for a WordPress “So Sweet Blog Award.”

Isn’t that just darling? I was nominated by Becky of beckysaysthings as she hereby decrees in this post. She admits she’s new to my blog, so it’s likely she doesn’t know my sentiments on these chain letters, cough, award nominations. But I am happy to give the shout-out as required when you’re honoured with a chain letter, cough, award nomination, because her stick drawings are a wonder to behold. I aspire to her level of expression. It’s hilarious.

Alrighty. Peace out.




Author’s Note:

I have placed a lot of blame on other people for the dismantling of theVERYsingle search terms. I guess in the interest of full disclosure, I should mention that a very big reason for this decision is also because as I write more and more posts, more and more tags lead more and more people to my site. The number of search terms in a one month period is increasing rapidly. It’s too much to sift through and comment on. Life is tough. I’m lazy. You understand. But it’s still all your fault.


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