Wardrobe Malfunction

Today, I manned a booth for the university I work for during a fair at a local college.

About two hours into the fair, I noticed a string hanging from my shirt. Huh, where are you coming from, little fella?

I investigated. It was coming from my armpit. I took a look.

There was a hole.

Right now, please do something for me: Lift up your arm and look at your armpit. You can really only see one side of it without the use of a mirror, right? Keep this in mind.

When I first noticed the hole, I showed it to my colleague from another university. (She happens to read my blog and was treated to a first-hand–See? THIS is my life–experience.) I didn’t think the hole was that bad from my perspective, but the look of shock and then pity on her face prompted me to wear my winter coat for the rest of the fair.

(Add that’s what she said to that entire last paragraph. Tehehe.)

When I got home, I got my first real look at it. I gasped. Then I laughed. Then I had to take a picture.

photo

I’m not pregnant. It’s a flowy shirt.

I think Marv from Home Alone 2: Lost in New York says it best:

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How could you not notice a hole that size for two hours?!,
you ask while shaking me.  Meh, you know who you’re dealing with…

Also, you’ll notice my armpit looks a bit dark. I shaved this morning (hence my willingness to show the hole to my colleagues and some complete strangers upon discovery–oh my god, the that’s what she said potential in this post is unreal), so I swear it is not armpit hair. It’s fibers from my shirt. But the people I flashed my pit to today don’t know that. Sooooooo, that’s embarrassing.

When I turned to the side, I got an even better look. I took another picture.

photo2

These shots do inadvertently resemble those month-to-month pregnancy progression shots in front of the mirror. Again, not so. You know I don’t get out.

Two holes. Not just one hole. Two holes.

I don’t know how long I was exposing my armpit to prospective students. I don’t even know how it really happened. But it happened. It happened to the extreme.

Come to think of it, I do recall one female student’s gaze continually shifting to the area as we spoke. I thought she was just checking out my rack, so I was ok with it. Huh.

During the lunch break, I ordered stir-fry from the college cafeteria. It came with a fortune cookie. No joke, it read:

You are a person filled with grace.

Nailed it.

theVERYsinglegirl

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10 comments

  1. Natalie

    Hahahahahhahahahahahahahha. I feel awful taking space up and commenting with just a ha ha but I’m honestly dying. This. Would. Only. Happen. To. You. Is it weird that I feel privileged to know you?

      • theverysinglegirl

        Hahahahahahaha I’m honoured that you feel privileged to know me! Weird? No. A bit sad? Probably.

        I feel as though it’s a good thing you weren’t there beside me or else talking to students for the rest of the day would have gone like this: “Yes, that’s a great question. The answer is….*bursts out in a cackling laugher* I’m sorry. But my friend over here has a massive hole in her shirt. I can’t take anything seriously right now.”

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