Category: theVERYsingle hit list of people who should be shot

Me lucky charms

Top o’ the marnin’ to ya! St. Patrick’s Day always reminds me of a wee embarrassing moment I had whilst in university.

I think it’s safe to say that St. Patty’s Day, especially for the student population, is an just excuse to ramp up the drunken debauchery. I’ll remind you of my city’s claim to fame from St. Patty’s Day two years ago—the Fleming Drive Riot. Because here in Canada, when the weather is unseasonably warm in March, we riot. Continue reading

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The seeds

It’s no secret that one of my favourite snacks is Spitz sunflower seeds. To be so brash as to quote myself:

“I am an expert sunflower seed eater. I have spent copious hours honing my craft. Forget tying a cherry stem with your tongue—you really want to see some sexy talent? Watch me shell those seeds with such swift precision that I don’t have to take my eyes off the TV.”

— Me, Meet theVERYsinglegirl

So yeah. I like them.

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The yellow brick road

“Follow the yellow brick road.

Follow the yellow brick road.

Follow, follow, follow, follow,

Follow the yellow brick road!”

What’s more beautiful than freshly fallen snow? I love the crunch under my boots and the fresh, crisp air in the still early morning as I walk to work. Continue reading

Retail therapy

‘Tis the season to shop. We all know I have um, special, thoughts and experiences with the shopping process. If you don’t, here’s a quick catch-up list (unless you have something better to do. You do? Oh):

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Shit happens. To me. Go figure.

In a past post (I moved. Here’s why.), I alluded to a very disturbing event that happened to me amid the moving chaos (you know, that time when several neighbours found my blog and ganged up on me cyber-style not simply for posting the crazy notes from my neighbour online, but more for merely mentioning the beloved building troubadour in an insignificant anecdote, so I moved). I said it was a story for another day. Today is that day!

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My crazy neighbour leaves her last note…..because I killed her. Just kidding. But seriously, it’s an EPIC conclusion.

First, I’d like you to read the disclaimer I added to the bottom of my last post, WTF:

Author’s Note:

It has since been brought to my attention by a couple of my compassionate, church-going friends that perhaps this person came straight from a food bank. Ok, it’s possible. I think this goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway: It is not my intention to make fun of anyone for being less fortunate. Whatever he is, he took out a BAG of MILK in public and sucked it dry. Next to ME of all people. THAT is what’s funny, regardless of his situation. So I apologize if anyone was offended by this post.

A BAG of MILK.

Ok, now we can move on to more important things, like how my ceiling banging, note-leaving neighbour met her match and now has to live her life in fear of ME. LITTLE OL’ ME. *strums fingers like Mr. Burns* Continue reading