Category: theVERYsingle things I do that are not weird, you’re weird

My box was snatched

My purpose for the trip was insignificant and really could have been accomplished at any time of the year.

Instead, I decided one chaotic Saturday shortly after the Christmas holidays to engage in some very risky masochism.

I went shopping. Continue reading

I’m giving my troubles to a MONKEY on a ROCK, or Farewell Dave

Ok Paul, open the thing.

Here it is, folks. Tonight’s top ten list:

The Top Ten Ways I’ll Get Over the Loss of the Late Show with David Letterman Continue reading

No cabbage soup for you!

Alright, so I recognize my last few posts have been a bit lackluster (really, a bit on elevators?). I’m sorry! If you can believe it, weird things just haven’t been happening to me lately! Maybe it’s possible I’ve paid my dues and the universe has moved on…

Ya, ya, I won’t bet on it, but before I go on a bit of a posting break, I’ve decided to dig back into the ol’ archives of my life and leave you with a poop story.

Right about now, my mother is throwing her hands in the air and giving up hope of grandchildren. Continue reading

Elevators really push my buttons

Yup. Went there.

Ok, so the elevator is inherently awkward. Confined space. Strangers. Smells. Standing. Germs on the buttons. Mirrors, sometimes. Security camera, sometimes. You automatically submit yourself to the fact that if it gets stuck, you will have to help deliver a baby. It’s all bad. Continue reading

The seeds

It’s no secret that one of my favourite snacks is Spitz sunflower seeds. To be so brash as to quote myself:

“I am an expert sunflower seed eater. I have spent copious hours honing my craft. Forget tying a cherry stem with your tongue—you really want to see some sexy talent? Watch me shell those seeds with such swift precision that I don’t have to take my eyes off the TV.”

— Me, Meet theVERYsinglegirl

So yeah. I like them.

Continue reading