This may not come as a surprise to you by now (that is, if you happen to be following my blog. I shouldn’t assume. God, I’m vain), but while going through security on a recent flight home from Montreal, I happened to be selected for a random search.
Believe it or not, I actually found this thrilling! (But why? You ask. Your life is full of adventure and intrigue! What’s more exciting than an evening pickle?!) I knew this meant I’d get to go in that time machine-looking thing and get patted down in front of everyone. This thrilled me. Seriously.
…Not so fast! You missed a spot………Lower………Lower………Seriously, my shoes. You forgot to check my shoes.
— You’re sick.