Alright, so I recognize my last few posts have been a bit lackluster (really, a bit on elevators?). I’m sorry! If you can believe it, weird things just haven’t been happening to me lately! Maybe it’s possible I’ve paid my dues and the universe has moved on…
Ya, ya, I won’t bet on it, but before I go on a bit of a posting break, I’ve decided to dig back into the ol’ archives of my life and leave you with a poop story.
Right about now, my mother is throwing her hands in the air and giving up hope of grandchildren. Continue reading
While my blog is generally a happy place, let me just state for the record that my perpetually single life isn’t always a series of funny missteps and situations that end with me shrugging and winking to a camera that isn’t there. I won’t lie. It’s tough out there for us singletons. Continue reading
My car is a silver 2001 Ford Taurus. When my dad graciously
offered agreed to get me a car during my second year of university, I was just so thrilled and grateful that I didn’t care what kind of car. One day, he took me to a Ford dealership where a shiny used Taurus awaited us in the lot. It was actually the first car I ever drove since my family loves minivans. Getting into this teeny little car was life-changing. It was so small and compact! The salesman must have never seen a 20-year-old’s eyes light up at the sight of a Taurus. It was an easy sell. We my dad purchased it in 2005, and I promised to make monthly payments to pay him back. As a student living away from home and working part-time at a floundering gift shop in the mall, I had over-estimated my budgeting skills. I kinda sorta stopped making payments to him after the first couple…..but shhhhhhhh! Don’t remind him!
In retrospect, I probably could have gotten something cooler. My dad must have been strumming his fingers like Mr. Burns and thinking “excellent” to put his daughter in a giant, safe, grandpa car. But you know what? It has grown on me. I am now proud to say that I drive a Taurus. It’s unique! How many people under 70 do you know who drives one? I’m special. Continue reading
This week, nay, this month, nay, MY LIFE, has been a cosmic joke.
It snowed last night.
This is the photo I texted to my boss this morning to show why I was running late:
I have no words.
Ok, I have words.
This, ladies and gents, is why I have a blog about the ridiculous things that happen to me. It never stops. Continue reading
We know each other well enough by now to talk about this, right?
While this story unfolded, I remember thinking, “This is something that would happen to Larry David.” For those of you who don’t know (and shame on you), Larry David is a comedy legend. The man behind Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm, he often derives the plot lines straight from his own experience, which usually includes awkward, uncomfortable, mostly trivial but sometimes mortifying situations that most people won’t ever find themselves in. He’s also a fox. Continue reading