Top o’ the marnin’ to ya! St. Patrick’s Day always reminds me of a wee embarrassing moment I had whilst in university.
I think it’s safe to say that St. Patty’s Day, especially for the student population, is an just excuse to ramp up the drunken debauchery. I’ll remind you of my city’s claim to fame from St. Patty’s Day two years ago—the Fleming Drive Riot. Because here in Canada, when the weather is unseasonably warm in March, we riot. Continue reading
I don’t know why I feel so strongly about lines. And I don’t know why I put so much thought into them. Maybe it’s because while most people waiting in a line would pass the time by thinking about the important things going on in their life, if there isn’t a new episode of Survivor on that night, then I’m SOL. Instead, I stand there stewing over everything that is wrong about the situation. Take note: I don’t take any action to change things; I just carefully scrutinize how they are wrong. For fun. I’m not going to do anything about it. What can I do? Lines happen.* Continue reading
This may not come as a surprise to you by now (that is, if you happen to be following my blog. I shouldn’t assume. God, I’m vain), but while going through security on a recent flight home from Montreal, I happened to be selected for a random search.
Believe it or not, I actually found this thrilling! (But why? You ask. Your life is full of adventure and intrigue! What’s more exciting than an evening pickle?!) I knew this meant I’d get to go in that time machine-looking thing and get patted down in front of everyone. This thrilled me. Seriously.
…Not so fast! You missed a spot………Lower………Lower………Seriously, my shoes. You forgot to check my shoes.
— You’re sick.
While this story unfolded, I remember thinking, “This is something that would happen to Larry David.” For those of you who don’t know (and shame on you), Larry David is a comedy legend. The man behind Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm, he often derives the plot lines straight from his own experience, which usually includes awkward, uncomfortable, mostly trivial but sometimes mortifying situations that most people won’t ever find themselves in. He’s also a fox. Continue reading
I’m sure everyone has come across the following scenario in a store: two cash registers, no barrier to divide the line. It’s anarchy! Two possible scenarios unfold: Continue reading