Oh, hi! I didn’t see you there. Thanks for coming. It’s been a while. Did you miss me? I missed you. Here’s a recap of the fun we missed together during our time apart:
- My Christmas hams healed nicely. Thank you for your concern.
- My boob bruise also healed nicely. Thank you for your concern. Continue reading
Turns out, the neighbour note-leaving saga might not be completely over. Or, a new one has just begun.
This is my life.
As you may recall, I have had some, um, issues with my neighbour. If you need a refresher or are new to this saga, you can read about it in My neighbour (and my vacuum) can suck it! and My crazy neighbour leaves her last note…..because I killed her. Just kidding. But seriously, it’s an EPIC conclusion.
For the record, yes, I (obviously, jokingly, no-way-in-hell seriously) implied that I would have my neighbour evicted because her apology letter was technically one more note under my door after my landlord said he’ll evict her if she leaves one more note. I wasn’t being serious. Some people have asked me if I actually had her evicted. These people are idiots (don’t worry, I’m not talking about you).
But I will have you know, it’s been downright eerily quiet in my humble abode since my neighbour was put in her place. Almost too quiet. I didn’t realize how used to the regular banging throughout the day I had gotten. Stockholm syndrome, I’m telling you.
First, I’d like you to read the disclaimer I added to the bottom of my last post, WTF:
It has since been brought to my attention by a couple of my compassionate, church-going friends that perhaps this person came straight from a food bank. Ok, it’s possible. I think this goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway: It is not my intention to make fun of anyone for being less fortunate. Whatever he is, he took out a BAG of MILK in public and sucked it dry. Next to ME of all people. THAT is what’s funny, regardless of his situation. So I apologize if anyone was offended by this post.
A BAG of MILK.
Ok, now we can move on to more important things, like how my ceiling banging, note-leaving neighbour met her match and now has to live her life in fear of ME. LITTLE OL’ ME. *strums fingers like Mr. Burns* Continue reading
I have no words.
Ok, I have words.
This, ladies and gents, is why I have a blog about the ridiculous things that happen to me. It never stops. Continue reading
This might just be a coincidence.
It probably is.
OR, I have developed a reputation in my apartment building.
I arrived home from work last night to another note. Continue reading