Tagged: Seinfeld

Eat Nay Plug: Part One

It’s a three-parter, guys. Watch out!

Other title I was considering:  “A young woman’s strange and erotic journey from Milan to Minsk.” But that’s taken.

As you might know, my job requires me to travel around Canada in the fall and spring. It’s all very exotic and I’m as classy and exuberant as Julia Roberts the entire time. In the spring, it’s a two-week stint to select Canadian cities, and this year they were Vancouver, Calgary and Winnipeg–the first week in Vancouver and the second week split between Calgary and Winnipeg. Continue reading

Oh no. Now I’m the Note Nazi.

This might just be a coincidence.

It probably is.

OR, I have developed a reputation in my apartment building.

I arrived home from work last night to another note. Continue reading

My Date with theVERYsinglegirl

Hello readers. I fictionally recently went on a date with Lauren aka theVERYsinglegirl. I look like a combination of John Krasinski, Michael Buble, and Jason Segel. I like slushies and the couch. I’m creative, successful, and have a sense of humour that rivals Austin Powers.

Our date started out great! We went to East Side Mario’s (her choice) for dinner. I pretended not to notice when she snorted Diet Coke out her nose (don’t read that wrong) while trying, poorly, to suppress laughing when I said “duty” (I think she heard “doodie”). Immature, yes…but also kind of cute in the right light. It was pretty dark in there, so I said yes when she suggested going back to her place.

That’s when things got weird. Continue reading

theVERYsingle search terms #2

For as long as the weirdos keep stopping by, I plan to make this a semi-monthly ritual after the wildly successful (I made that up) original theVERYsingle search terms.

It’s a bit hypocritical of me to point out and make fun of the stupid and odd things people have typed into search engines because I’m pretty sure I’ve typed the following into search engines in my time: Continue reading

Always yell at strangers through your window

This situation I found myself in reminds me of a Seinfeld episode–how something that happens at the beginning of the episode often comes back as the punch line at the end. For example, Kramer hitting golf balls into the ocean and then George, a “marine biologist,” later pulling an obstruction from a beached whale. “Is that a Titlest?” (George telling the story of his heroic rescue is incidentally my absolute favourite Seinfeld, or dare I say, television, moment… “The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.” Kills me every time.)

Continue reading