Tagged: Strangers

Elevators really push my buttons

Yup. Went there.

Ok, so the elevator is inherently awkward. Confined space. Strangers. Smells. Standing. Germs on the buttons. Mirrors, sometimes. Security camera, sometimes. You automatically submit yourself to the fact that if it gets stuck, you will have to help deliver a baby. It’s all bad. Continue reading

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Retail therapy

‘Tis the season to shop. We all know I have um, special, thoughts and experiences with the shopping process. If you don’t, here’s a quick catch-up list (unless you have something better to do. You do? Oh):

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I thought it was over…

Turns out, the neighbour note-leaving saga might not be completely over. Or, a new one has just begun.

This is my life.

As you may recall, I have had some, um, issues with my neighbour. If you need a refresher or are new to this saga, you can read about it in My neighbour (and my vacuum) can suck it! and My crazy neighbour leaves her last note…..because I killed her. Just kidding. But seriously, it’s an EPIC conclusion.

For the record, yes, I (obviously, jokingly, no-way-in-hell seriously) implied that I would have my neighbour evicted because her apology letter was technically one more note under my door after my landlord said he’ll evict her if she leaves one more note. I wasn’t being serious. Some people have asked me if I actually had her evicted. These people are idiots (don’t worry, I’m not talking about you).

But I will have you know, it’s been downright eerily quiet in my humble abode since my neighbour was put in her place. Almost too quiet. I didn’t realize how used to the regular banging throughout the day I had gotten. Stockholm syndrome, I’m telling you.

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Trees owe me, big time

I volunteer for an organization that plants trees in the community and promotes the importance of planting trees for environmental and human health.

Before you go thinking I’m a charitable hippie dippie do-gooder, know that I joined this particular organization because I could contribute to society (ok, ok, I mean pad the ol’ resume) without really engaging with the community. Trees don’t talk to you. Continue reading

WTF

I don’t use the expression lightly.

I could have sat anywhere at the mall food court during lunch today. I scanned the crowd and looked for a spot with the fewest crying babies in close proximity. I sat down.

A few minutes later, a guy sat down at the table next to mine.

The next 45 minutes were the strangest 45 minutes I’ve ever witnessed. And that’s saying a lot. Continue reading

Single Eye for you Married Guys

While my blog is generally a happy place, let me just state for the record that my perpetually single life isn’t always a series of funny missteps and situations that end with me shrugging and winking to a camera that isn’t there. I won’t lie. It’s tough out there for us singletons. Continue reading